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Tuesday, September 22, 2009
love, evaporated
Walked past the guy whom I used to love tonight. I say used to, because although my feelings are not gone, they are now realistic and without the longing that I had which was so very unhealthy. I loved a selfish, self-absorbed prick. And he continues to be so. I said hello, and he ignored me. He was talking to some guy on the street whom I'm assuming he was picking up. I say this because I walked past him twice within 10 minutes. The first time was to go to the store to pick up bread olives and cheese at Ferrari's as I often do after work. The second time was heading back home.
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AboutI'm a gay man from Reno, Nevada who now lives in the Bay Area (hopefully soon to be San Francisco). I've been blogging for a couple of years but had taken a break from writing to clear my head. I've been in two relationships lasting over the past ten years, and I'm still trying to find my own way. I'm continuously on the path towards figuring out who I really am, what I want from life, and where I'm going. It has been a tough road, but the light is getting brighter.
This blog is a work in progress. For me, the work is to continuously find the productive parts of my life and my behavior, incorporate positive changes permanently into my life, and slough off the stuff that isn't so great. I've left a career path and the city I've lived in my entire adult life for love, and now am struggling to find work and a place to settle (a victim of the economy, as so many others are). Even so, I found that I'm generally quite capable on my own, but I am still human and fallable.
This blog is about gaining my confidence and owning my own life. It's about a small town gay man learning about himself in an urban city. It's about me.
This little corner is my personal space. Here I can chronicle my behavior, share my thoughts, and engage in my own conversation. Through this
medium, I can share what it is that I'm thinking as life unfolds before me. I do this so that I can look
back - and ultimately assess how I am really living. WARNING: This collection of random thoughts can be explicit! Please be warned. Do not read the contents of this blog if it will offend you.
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